Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We are all done wearing pants today
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
