All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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