They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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