she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
