Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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