never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it was like eating out sand paper
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
