Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
