I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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