Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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