I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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