Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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