I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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