i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
