Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Actions speak louder than pants.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
