Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
