the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
