I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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