Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
