hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
