It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
