If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
