period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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