elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
