i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
