Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
