when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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