dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
