from now on my penis is your penis
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
