tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
