I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
