I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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