well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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