I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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