some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
