I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize