Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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