The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
