so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We smell like vodka and hangover
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
