Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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