There is no way he is gay with that hair.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
