the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
