If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
