I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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