I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
