Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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