Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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