I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
