just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
