the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize