I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
