you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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