you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
