David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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