Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
