I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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