Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
