question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
