if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
